The very last line of this article sums up the irony of this article very well.
“Tinder Granny” has vowed to ditch the hookup app and find her one true love.
After decades of canoodling with boy toys on Tinder, 83-year-old Hattie Wiener of Hell’s Kitchen is ready to settle down with a partner for life. However, she’s not entirely shedding her cougar ways — her prospective paramour still needs to be at least 20 years her junior.
“I really want one man,” says the grandmother of three. Reportedly, she’d always intended to use Tinder as a soul-mate finder, but it only led to a series of one-night stands, according to Barcroft. In a video for the site, she admits that “Tinder provides a steady stream of men,” but it’s high time for her to settle down.
“I didn’t want to get a man on a dating site, but then I kept hearing people get men and lifemates and marriage partners and everything — that it could get serious — so I figured, ‘Let me give it a try.’ ”
Specifically, the randy gran desires a partner who’s “turned on by me, and I’m turned on by him,” Wiener tells Barcroft TV.
As a result, “I would want a man, I would guess that’s 60,” the former movement therapist and dancer says.
Wiener’s new vow marks a massive break from her amorous history. After divorcing in her 50s, the New Yorker developed quite the hankering for young talent. The self-proclaimed cougar spent “35 years” on the market, dating progressively youthful males as she got older — earning her the moniker “Retroage.”
And it wasn’t difficult for the cougar to hunt down young bucks. Wiener says that when she was 53 or 54, she would “walk by a department store and say to a young guy, ‘Man, those shoes are gorgeous,’ and he’d say, ‘You’re gorgeous!’ ”
Granny’s not blowing smoke. Her age-defying sexual conquests have been depicted on multiple raunchy reality shows, including “Extreme Cougar Wives” and “Sister Wives.” A clip from the latter shows seen on a blind date with a 29-year-old guy and, later, picking up a 25-year-old at a Midtown hotel swimming pool. The salacious senior citizen reportedly even hooked up with guys as young as 18.
Wiener’s prolific sex life was accelerated by the dating apps like Tinder — which resulted in her receiving 19 or 20 e-catcalls from supple young suitors per day. Despite the success rate, Wiener says she had originally intended to use the platform to find a soul mate.
“Now, I was not visualizing myself as just a one-night stand, but I ended up that way by default,” says Wiener.
It got to the point where Wiener finally admitted that she couldn’t “just keep saying yes to what I don’t really want. I really want one man.”
Unfortunately, it hasn’t been easy to for the cougar to rehabilitate. The heartsick granny recalls a 60-year-old paramour — her oldest — who was an “excellent match.” However, “he did not want to get that attached and have a relationship with a woman my age,” says Wiener.
She laments that “It’s very rare that a young man will pick a much older woman and live with her.”
Nonetheless, Wiener claims that her Tinder flings did teach her some important life lessons: “I did find that all of them were good experiences, different. What I learned is that men are people instead of potential hard d–ks or orgasm givers or G spot geniuses.”
or am I???